Top 10 things you can do that are equivelant to robbing a Boy Scout

I'm sure some of you have heard the vomit-inducing storing about the man to the left. For those of you who haven't, here it is in a nutshell. 7-year-old Boy Scout, Brennan Starr was selling popcorn at a convenience store in Pennsylvania. The man in the picture walked up to where they were set up, asked if they gave change for a hundred, they produced an envelope full of money, and the man took off and ran with it, getting away with a little of $200.00. And as awful as that story is, I have a compiled a Top Ten List of things that you can do that are equivalent to robbing a Boy Scout. So, without further adieu, here it is.

TOP 10 TEN THINGS YOU CAN DO THAT ARE EQUIVALENT TO ROBBING A BOY SCOUT, IN TERMS OF BRAIN MATTER.

10. Sticking $1.00 in the collection plate at church and taking out $10.00

9. Buying Girl Scout cookies on an I.O.U.

8. Sticking up a group of kids after they've been out Trick or Treating all night.

7. Cutting in front of a legitimately disabled person in order to get their parking space at the mall. (I have seen some of you do this one)

6. While driving, you "flip the bird" to the same person that you just cut off. (This one really aggravates me, so it's in)

5. Buying a book from the bookstore, taking it home and reading it in a couple of days, and then taking it back for a full refund. (You know who you are)

4. Forgetting your wedding anniversary and instead of just asking, you present your spouse a gift on the wrong day.

3. For the police officers, out there. Coming up to a red light and instead of waiting like the rest of us, you flip your lights on and run the red light, then abruptly turn your lights off after you get through the intersection like it was some kind of a nervous tick.

2. For the students, out there. Failing an open book exam.

1. And the number 1 thing you can do that is the equivalent to robbing a Boy Scout, in terms of brain matter, is............while driving, getting caught picking your nose by the person in the car next to you and trying to play it off like you were doing something else. There is no other reason for your finger to be up your nose.

Most of the preceding list, as we all know, is not as morally wrong as robbing a Boy Scout. But when you consider the lack of common sense involved in some of them, they become just as aggravating and in some cases just as infuriating. Let's all do our best to get out of bed tomorrow and use the sense that "God gave a mule." Thanks for reading.

Since when does "any", not mean ANY!

First and foremost, allow me to get this out of the way. I am pro-choice for the simple reason, that I don't have a choice. I am a male, therefor the abortion issue does not apply to me. However, when women are allowed to shoot themselves in the stomach in order to abort a child that was hours from being born, I feel the need to speak up. The state of Virginia where I admit embarrassingly, that I am originally from, has really dropped the ball.
Tammy Skinner, age 22, two children and one on the way, shot herself in the stomach in order to abort a baby that she was due to give birth to on the same morning. Why did she do this? Because in her words, she, "had no choice." The only thing I will say about that is that I hardly believe your two choices when giving birth are two either shoot yourself or give birth. I have never heard of a nurse or doctor, assisting a woman in labor and saying, "Mam, would you like Smith & Wesson or Remington with your birth."
While abortion is not illegal, abortion in the third tri-mester is. I have to believe that the morning of, qualifies as being part of the third tri-mester. Therefor illegal abortion, charges filed, sentencing and so an and so forth. Right? Wrong. A Virginia judge dismissed the charges of an illegal abortion, because of the word "any". The law reads as follows: In Virginia law, if an abortion is deemed illegal, Statute 18.2-71, makes a criminal out of "any person [to] administer to, or cause … any drug or other thing" with intent to destroy an unborn child. The judge agreed with the defense by ruling that any person does not include the mother.
The issue here is not about abortion. This is an issue of pure, unadulterated stupidity. How is it possible that any normal thinking individual could interpret the law in such a way? If someone says, "if anyone steals my car, I will press charges." Does it mean, anyone, but the actual person who stole the car? If someone says, "if anyone kills my dog, I will press charges." Does that mean, anyone, but the actual person who kills the dog? These two examples are pretty obvious, I would think, to any normal thinking person. Of course, anyone, means anyone.
Have you ever been to a "Do-it-Yourself" car wash? The ones where you just pull up in the bay, wash your car yourself and drive off. Just a thought, and granted a little over the top, but who is to stop "Do-it-Yourself" 3rd term abortion clinics from popping up? Just walk up, slip into the bay, kill your baby and move on.
I hope Virginia gets what they deserve out of this. Can't you just see it now? Truckloads of women, driving to Virginia to self-abort. And don't kid yourself, since this ruling has been issued, maybe not as graphic, but someone has thought about going to Virginia to accomplish the same thing. Maybe it's a part of their new tourism marketing. "Come to Virginia, while you're here, go ahead SELF-ABORT."
In reading some of my examples you may have found yourself saying, " that's ridiculous!" Or, "what a moron!" As they say, don't shoot the messenger, the state of Virginia said you can do it.

Thanks for reading, take care.

Have you heard the one about the shrimp lifting weights?

No, really, have you heard that shrimp are now lifting weights? In what is quite an unbelievable waste of money and resources, Pacific University biology professor David Skolnick has built a device that measures effects of exercise on SHRIMP!!! No, not short people. Look at the picture to the left, those kinds of shrimp. Mr. Skolnick stated that the device is "somewhat like a treadmill and it allows researchers to measure the activity of an exercising shrimp for a set period of time at known speed and oxygen levels." LOL. You can't make stuff like this up!!! Excuse me, professor???? Ahh......why? I'm glad you asked. The reasoning, according to Professor "Strange", is to measure how fatigued the shrimp get when they are, get this, "not feeling well." He states that when a human being doesn't feel well they generally sleep it off, however for a shrimp it could be "a matter of life and death." Yeah, we wouldn't the shrimp to die.........before we got a chance to kill and eat them ourselves. Makes total sense now?????? Mr. Skolnick and his band of "researchers" also fastened something that resembles a backpack, LOL, on the shrimp to see how they were affected with the additional weight. Please, take a moment to picture this.

And then as if he hadn't said enough, SENOR STRANGE had this to say. "This is really groundbreaking, I can't think of another time in which shrimp were put on a treadmill." Noooooo, Ya don't say???? With all the diseases that we have now, you chose to use valuable resources to study shrimp and their exercise techniques? I would love to know how much much was actually spent for this.

Would anyone else love to meet this guy? He's gotta be worth four or five hours of good, solid laughter. Doc, if you ever in South Florida please let me know.

Thanks for reading, have a great night.

UM, FIU Foot-Brawl: Who is really to blame?

Before you answer the above question, I have a few things to say. For the last week every sports station on television and radio has covered varying view points, offered "in-depth" analysis, and pretty much played the blame game along with the rest of us. I admit, I became a party to it as well. However, the one instigator that I haven't heard is the one that I am going to address today. SOCIETY! Now before you call me every name in the book, please allow me to explain my position.

First off, is it really that much of a surprise and outrage that something like this took place, on of all places, a football field? Think about it, we're not exactly talking about synchronized swimming. This is football. And don't even start with the, "but it's just a game" crap. Football in this country, is the equivalent of soccer to the Europeans. If our team doesn't win, and win often, fans want to string up, hang in effigy, and seriously injure every member of the team, from the coaches to the water boys. Does that sound like, "just a game" to you? Football evokes emotions that are not often seen anywhere.

Secondly, we dress these players up in uniforms, put enough padding on them to run through a brick wall, and then tell them to, "Go rip his head off?" Did we really expect that they wouldn't try? I think it's pretty naive to believe that human beings, when asked to compete against each other in such a violent arena, could just shut everything off. Now, I will agree that there were a couple idiots out there, who went a little too far. But is it really all that different than every aspect of society?

Lastly, if violence wasn't as accepted in our society, what would we be watching on television. Take a look at your television lineup tonight. I'm guessing you would see roughly 30-40 shows or movies, whose basic premise revolves around murder, rape, shootings, blood.....etc. PBS has tried for years to put meaningful, non-violent shows on the air. Have you seen their ratings? Nobody wants to watch that, and no advertisers will sponsor it. And as we know, no sponsors mean no money.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that we are not responsible for our own actions, because I think everyone should be held accountable for whatever they do. But in a society where violence is such an acceptable form of expression, I think it's ignorant to believe that it wouldn't carry over into a football game. So for those of us who are disgusted with what took place on Saturday night at the Orange Bowl, maybe we should take a look in the mirror. Changes come about from the inside out, not the outside in.

Thanks for reading, have a great night.

Bonehead of the Week-----Week 1

In doing research for this blog, I realized that there are a lot of people out there who just don't get it. You know the type, people who are fully aware of what they're doing but for whatever reason just think and act a little bit different than the rest of us. So from now on, Sunday's post will be dedicated to the Bonehead of the Week.
During the past week, there were plenty of morons to chose from. I thought long and hard and I really thought I had a winner, but out of nowhere, came what I believe is a perfect candidate for the, My Take on Today's Inaugural Bonehead of the Week award.
May I introduce, Mr. Wade Pilloud. Mr. Pilloud is, or shall I say, was a principal of the K-12 school in Indus, MN. You see, Mr. Pilloud resigned from his post amid concerns from parents and students because he shot and killed two kittens on school property. Now, his actions would have garnered him serious consideration for this award anyway, but Mr. Pilloud sealed the deal by giving a couple of quotes that only a true Bonehead could muster. First, Mr. Pilloud said he shot the kittens because he, and I'm quoting here, "didn't want them to suffer." Apparently, the kittens mother had been killed by an animal trap and he was afraid that they would starve to death. Just a thought, and...I'm no real expert, but I gotta believe a bowl of milk would have taken care of that starvation thing, at least for the short term, then maybe a call to the animal shelter. I'm not sure how Mr. Pilloud translated the kittens meowing and crying, into "Excuse me sir, can you please put a bullet into us."
Mr. Pilloud went on to say that he was not a cat hater, that he bred cats and even owned two cats himself. Assuming all of that is true, Mr. Pilloud had to know that Rule #1 for cats was probably pretty similar to the Rule#1 for humans. You know...... the one about trying NOT to be dead!!!!!
Let me be clear here. I am not an animal rights activist nor do I hold any special feelings for cats, but I think a proper punishment for this guy would be to tie him up, line up about 100 cats and allow them to use his mouth as a littler box. Maybe, after that, the "Grim Reaper of Cats" will reconsider his execution authority.
Congratulations, Mr. Pilloud, you are a moron and you are the Bonehead of the Week.

Until next time, have a great night.

Excuse me officer, how does my hair look?

Let's see, what have we learned about Mel Gibson recently. He has a touch (putting it very lightly) of anti-semitism about him. His battle with alcoholism is, apparently, a lot longer than any of us knew. He is an obnoxious and uncontrollable drunk. And now we can add an almost disgustingly vain person.

Recently, Mel told Diane Sawyer in an interview that when he got arrested for his recent drunk driving stop "all he could think about was the Nick Nolte mugshot, and that he didn't want to look that bad." Mel went on to say that, "he did the wet the hair thing" and used his hand as a brush so that it looked presentable. Excuse me, ahhh.......... earth to Mel, come in Mel. You get pulled over for drinking and driving and the first thing you think about is how your mugshot is going to look? Now, I will give you that the Nick Nolte mugshot is pretty bad, but come on!!!!!! How about family, or friends? Maybe even the thought of how this would affect your career? Nope, you thought about how a picture was going to make you look. Which by the way, I would be willing to bet that if you were to ask anyone who has had a mugshot taken, not one of them would be able to say, "Hey, I really liked the way that came out." You know why? Because most of them would be more concerned with the actual act that got them there in the first place. In that same interview with Diane Sawyer. Mel said that the morning after his arrest he had to, and I'm quoting here, "down a few to get through it." LOL!!!! A little "hair of the dog", huh? He went on to agree that while his children were eating breakfast and playing, he was getting drunk again!!!!!

Well, congratulations Mel. I think we all will attest that you succeeded in making your mugshot look better than Nick Nolte's. Now, maybe we can get you to live on the same planet as the rest of us. Earth to Mel, come in Mel..........never mind.

Hope you all enjoyed it, have a great day.

State of Florida Says 'Yes' to Boobs

Ever since the presidential election of 2000, the state of Florida has been the butt of many a joke. There was everything from the hanging chad to Katherine Harris. But this week, the Seventh Judicial Circuit Court of Appeals said enough is enough. The court has upheld a lower court's decision that allows women to protest TOPLESS as part of "a legitimate political protest." YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! I used to plan my weekend around sporting events. Not anymore. Anyone know when the next Save-A-Tree convention is?
Now, granted all is not rosy with this new ruling. Florida does have one of the highest percentages of senior citizens in the country. I most certainly wouldn't want Grandma Pearl demonstrating in nothing but her Grandma Pearl undies, but Granddaughter Jen, go ahead and protest til you drop. Car accidents will certainly be on the rise. No red-blooded American male will be able to keep his eyes on the road as a group of women walk around bare-chested, chanting "Hell yeah, we will SHOW." The strip clubs around town will most certainly take a hit. One of the main reasons some men don't go to the strip clubs in the first place is because we don't want to have to pay to see it. Thanks to the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, we no longer have to.
So come on ladies, GRAB YOUR CAUSE AND DROP YOUR DRAWERS!
Yep, laugh at us if you want America, but Florida is most certainly not the BUTT of anymore jokes.
By the way, anyone wondering what a Pornography Protest will look like? Just a thought.


Hope you enjoyed it, good night and we will talk again tomorrow.

John Mark Karr goes free??????

Let me see if I can get this straight. John Mark Karr, the JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect and a previous suspect in another unsolved murder, fled the country to Thailand after being released from jail, awaiting trial for child pornography charges. Then he is flown back to Colorado by federal law enforcement officers (where, by the way, he dined on and drank some of the delicacies that many of us will never be able to enjoy) after telling reporters that he was guilty of the JonBenet Ramsey murder. Then he said he didn't kill JonBenet, but he was there with her when she died. DNA tests then prove that he wasn't the murderer. Then he is brought back to Sacramento to face the original child pornography charges and what happens today? The judge has dismissed all charges and John Mark Karr is a free man. HUH?????
You have got to be kidding me!!! Isn't there something that this guy could be locked up on? What about the original child pornography charges? Let's say, as is reported, that the prosecution lost some of the original evidence. Nice job by the way. Isn't there the little problem that he did flee in the first place. Last time I checked that was against the law, isn't it? Or how about this? Doesn't this country lock people up in mental hospitals all the time for being, well, crazy? Can you get more crazier than to tell people you were guilty of one of the more infamous, unsolved murders in the history of this country? I don't know about you all, but that would seem to be the textbook definition of someone who's a few cards shy of a full deck. Know what I mean? Unbeeeeeeeeeeeeeelievable!!! By the way, who footed the bill for this traveling roadshow, that's right you the taxpayer. And as if this story was not weird enough, ABC's Good Morning America was preparing to do a story on Mr. Karr. They were chauffeuring him around in a limo, checking out the sites where he used to live and work, when Mr. Karr gets out of the limo and starts peeking in the windows of the school where he used to work. ABC decided to pull the plug on the interview, stating that, oh you will love this, "Mr. Karr's behavior gave us serious pause." LOL. Nothing before that gave ABC the reason to believe he was a little weird, huh?
So, what have we learned from all of this? That's simple, next time any of us is stopped by a police officer, we confess to the JonBenet Ramsey murder. We will get swept away in a private jet, dining on duck and drinking champagne, given a free DNA test, and then driven around our childhood homes in a limousine by the good people at ABC. Is this the greatest country on Earth, or what?

Hope you enjoyed it, good night and we will talk again tomorrow.

Kim Jong-Il and his band of Merrymen?

Now that North Korea has "successfully tested a nuclear device". They have issued a statement that basically says that if the United States does not agree to one on one talks with the country, they might be inclined to launch a nuclear tipped warhead our way. LOL. I'm sorry, I just have to laugh at the thought of that statement. It's not so much the statement that makes me laugh, it's the possible repercussions that could come from the statement. Will someone please inform this guy that the last dictator that threw threats our way is now being kicked out of War Crimes Court on a daily basis. And that guy, so far all we've been able to prove is that he tried to have W.'s daddy killed. China has now decided to help, a little. They are doing one of these, "Pssst., crazy man, please shut up." The world thanks you China, considering you're as much, if not more to blame for this as anyone.
Personally, I think Kim Jong has been watching too much State TV. Apparently, he's not aware that the United States is not in any short supply of bombs these days. Someobody get this guy DirecTV switch it on CNN and put the remote in a place where he can't reach it. Anything above 5 feet will do. After about 48 hours of non-stop converage, I'm guessing he will start to see a clearer picture. The United States does not negotiate with terrorists, we kill them.
So, to end today's post I say Kim Jong sleep well tonight because you never know when it might be your last night's sleep.

Thanks for reading everyone, good night and we will talk tomorrow.

What does this blog do?

This blog does nothing, LOL. It is nothing more than my take on the most covered news story of the previous day, and other important news. I do not have any political affiliation. You will not see any spin posted here. It is nothing more than my comments and feelings about who, what, when, where and why a certain news story is being reported. Please feel free to post any comments or suggestions.

Who am I? My name is Dave. I decided to start this blog, mostly out of boredom. Look forward to hearing from you all.